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[fragile] Open with care 📦

[fragile] Open with care 📦

by Penelope Stephens

Did someone hurt your feelings this week?  
 
Same. But they're hurting more.

So you’ve probably heard the saying “hurt people, hurt people”. 
 
You know, like how the school bully’s parents don’t love them so they inflict mental and physical pain on people they are jealous of? 
 
(Sorry to take you back to high school. I’m crying with you dw 😭) 
 
So this is just a little reminder to not take everyone’s comments, actions or pain as your own. 
 
Everyone has their own battles and we can try and have some compassion for people (to a degree ofc. We don’t need to be friends with our bullies - speaking from experience, I don’t recommend that 😂)
 
So yes you should 100% have boundaries on how much of this BS you take on. 
 
But I just want you to remember when a comment, piece of content, or action hurts you, it may not be intentional and you shouldn’t take it to heart or overthink it.
 
Let mean comments or triggers roll off you like water on a duck's back. (Ducks are waterproof, I used to have a pet one). 
 
... 
 
My grandma always says the people who road-rage at you need the most love, so always send them good vibes instead of reciprocating their actions. 
 
So next time someone says something hurtful to you, remember it could be… 
 
  • Your mom yelling at you for leaving one sock on the floor has had a long day of cleaning the house to perfection.
  • The stranger who rolled their eyes at your outfit wishes they had the confidence to wear it.
  • That person calling you fat, thinks they're fat.
  • That friend who ghosted your text is lying face down binge-watching a show, not secretly hating you.
  • Your partner being short with you after work is probably just starving, not plotting a breakup.
  • Your teacher telling you not to follow your dreams had their own dreams crushed. 
  • That relative who made a passive-aggressive comment about your career thinks Instagram is a dating app.
  • The man road raging at you just lost their job and doesn’t know how he will look after his family.
  • The person laughing at your gym form is too scared to even step inside a gym.
  • That ex stalking your stories is probably just bored on the toilet.
And a plethora of other situations that have nothing to do with you but can make you question yourself. 
 
I know it's all well and good to say this and to action it is much harder. But the more you try, the easier it becomes (I think. I hope). 
 
I guess this is also a reminder for me to be less reactive and to stay in my own lane without worrying too much about what people think about me, say to me or treat me. 
 
Maybe it's also a good reminder for you?
 
Put on your blinders and ignore the road ragers.
 
Because it’s not always about you. In fact, the majority of the time it isn’t about you. 
 
The more you focus on other people’s actions and comments, the less you focus on yourself. 
 
You can’t control what people say to you, but you can control your own thoughts and how you react to it. 
 
Have compassion, but don’t take people’s nonsense. 
 
Remember it’s not always about you so don’t overthink it.  
 
Chat next week,
Penelope 
xoxo

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