What if success ruins everything?

Are you afraid of becoming who you want to be?

Yeah… that’s a real thing. 

Okay this topic is a fresh one to me.
 
I only thought about this topic when a reader asked me to write about it. 
 
That topic is The Fear of Success. 
 
“What do you mean Penelope? How can you be afraid to be successful?”
 
I know. I get it.
 
And honestly, I had the same thought. 
 
What is a fear of success? 
 
I think it’s often mistaken for Imposter Syndrome, where you think you’re not good enough. 
 
But a fear of success is not about feeling incapable. 
 
It’s about being seen. Fearing change.
 
Challenging your identity. Being scared of more responsibility.  
 
The fear of success dresses up like “perfectionism” or “burnout” so you don’t have to call it what it is.
 
Essentially the fear of success is the fear of what comes WITH the success. 
 
It’s not the fear of achieving something. It’s the fear of what comes after.
 
Ooooohhh... Spooky. 
 
Alright so how do we know if we have it?
 
- You self-sabotage right before things go well
- You downplay wins so you don’t “jinx it”
- You delay launching, posting, pitching - not because you don’t know how, but because you kind of hope you don’t have to
- You resist structure because it makes your potential real
- Deep urge to hide when things start going right
 
Ah it’s so yucky right? 
 
I’ve been there and sometimes I still find myself there. 
 
It’s scary to let go of who you were. 
 
It’s scary to be seen, perceived and judged by people. 
 
It’s scary to take on more responsibilities in your life. 
 
It’s much safer and more comfortable to stay where you are, right?

Yes. 
 
But no growth or success will happen while you’re comfortable. 
 
So what will this fear cost us?
- You plateau, not from lack of talent, but from emotional avoidance
- You never test your full potential - so you live with the “what if”
- You miss out on momentum because you’re afraid to commit to it
- Your goals start to feel heavy instead of exciting
- You keep recreating your comfort zone, even when it doesn’t serve you

Well unfortunately there’s no easy way out of this fear, but we can manage it. 

- Be aware of it and understand it: It’s a fear of success, not fear of failure
- Separate your work from your worth because success doesn’t mean pressure to “stay perfect”
- Let things go well. Let them keep going well. No shame. No guilt.
- Build capacity gradually - success doesn’t have to be overwhelming
- Redefine success so it feels safe, not scary

Still scared? 
 
Same. 
 
But let’s remember…
 
The real fear is committing to something and becoming someone.
 
…
 
Success isn’t this shiny, confident version of you suddenly arriving.
 
It’s messy. Awkward and kind of uncomfortable.
 
And it’s not always about getting everything you want. 
 
Sometimes it’s just about finally letting yourself have it.
 
So if you’re scared… cool. Same. Keep going anyway.
 
Let it be good. Let it be weird. Let it be different.
 
Just don’t let fear be the thing that keeps you small.
 
Xo 
Penelope