Have you tried having no friends?

Currently Eden and I are Melbourne, Australia—our home town. If you're new here or don't know us, Eden and I live in Bangkok and have been here for a couple of years now.

So being back home has been lovely and chaotic at the same time. It's been beautiful to see our old home with fresh eyes, take in the autumn (fall) leaves and see our family who we've been missing for 2+ years.

But also chaotic to have a full calendar and to have no time to ourselves and for our goals. I haven't been going to the gym, I haven't been writing or working and my whole very-beloved routine is out the window. And I feeeeeel the repercussions of it… deeply. I'm exhausted with no inspiration for my work and my head is constantly racing.

And maybe that's happening to you? Maybe you've got too much in your life, so there's no room for you—for your goals or for any inspiration to make it's way in. Maybe you're blocking it with people.

This week has taken me back to a younger version of myself. She was so confused why she never had time to herself or why her goals could never be reached.

A time I enjoyed… but looking back… maybe I didn't. Or at a least looking back, it is a time I don't wish to re-live.

So 19-26 year-old Penelope was a young woman who had 100s of friends. I'd like to say that's an exaggeration but my close circle was 30+ people for the majority of this time. Now this version of me had goals and aspirations like writing a novel, being a professional dancer and running a successful fashion brand. And I started all of them, but never to the best of my ability. I never had the time or effort to put into them and I thought that was just how it was. I chose socialising over my goals. My entire existence was centred around socialising.

Yeah it's fun to party in your 20s, go to social events and (some) people are fabulous companions and conversationalists. But maybe you don't need as much of it as you think. Instead of every night, maybe once a fortnight would have been enough. Maybe instead of 30 close friends, just two would have been enough.

Let's fast forward a couple of years later to when we started Boring Studios—social events and people were no longer priority. All I thought about was my goals and how I could reach them. I'd fall asleep to my ideas and what I was doing tomorrow. I no longer was thinking about what's on for the weekend, how to round up 10 people to go on vacation with or thinking about a friend's problem I could help fix.

Okay, so it sounds selfish right? It's not nice to just focus on yourself and not have others to think about. It's also a privilege to not have anyone that relies on you.

It's healthy to have friends and be close to your family, but one thing I've noticed in people who reach their goals—whether it's gym goals, business goals, art goals or writing goals—it's that they don't have a lot of friends or people in their lives. They focus on themselves. And this is your sign that you're allowed to as well.

Look, I'm not saying throw out all your responsibilities and move to the other side of the world like I did (although I do recommend it if you can). But if you can stop taking on people's problems and lives as your own, you'll have more brain capacity for the things that are important to you.

If there's people in your life who aren't making you feel good when you hang out with them, maybe don't hang out with them. If your entire life is just socialising, like mine was and you're not reaching your goals, then try and cut back on the social life. You might find your brain clearer with time to think, to create and to be inspired.

I know it can be important to socialise and there's nothing more beautiful than having people around you who understand and love you. I'm grateful for those in my life that I have. But I need nothing more. And sometimes, like this week and in my past life, too much socialising can be detrimental to your goals.

Because sometimes what you really need in life is less, not more.

Today, I have 3 close friends that I truly care and think about and my three siblings. That's enough for me. And maybe I needed this trip back to Australia to realise it—to appreciate how peaceful my life is and how much time I have to focus on myself and my goals.

I have one more week here in Australia and I'm looking forward to the plans I have with people I haven't seen in years, but I'm glad i don't live this life full-time anymore.

So maybe take a look at your calendar and make sure there's room to breathe; to think, to work on your goals; time for YOU. It's more important than you think.

Love,
Penelope
Co-Founder of Boring Studios, Tired-extrovert