Compliments are insults

"If you live for their applause, you'll die from their boos" - Leila Hormozi 
 
You've probably received at least one compliment in your life. 
You look nice today. This is delicious. You've done great work.  
 
If you haven't - here's one - I think that you're fabulous and I know you truly want the best for yourself because you read Boring Issues. 
 
Felt good right? That's normal and it's nice to compliment people and receive them. 
 
The next part is your downfall... Giving the compliment so much weight. 
 
Someone complimented your outfit so you think yes, this is a god outfit, I will continue to wear this outfit and outfits like this because everyone liked it. 
 
Well you're wrong. Just one person liked it and it is purely their preference based on that day. 

Did you like the outfit that much? Does anyone else even like it? 
 
It's hard to say right?
So why take on someone else's preference like it is the ultimate opinion?
 
Exactly...

Don't give a compliment so much weight. It's not that deep.

Yes, please, still enjoy compliments and give them when you can. Understand that the person complimenting you is being kind and that they do genuinely like your outfit which is lovely. 
 
But don't take on their compliment as a persona or as a sign to continue doing something. 
 
Because as soon as someone tells you that they don't like your outfit, you'll never wear the outfit again.
 
See what I mean?
 
Every opinion is just someone's preference. 
It's just a like or dislike based on their own experiences.
An opinion can be fleeting or change day to day. 
 
And realistically, a compliment can disrupt you just as much as an insult.

Because both can alter your own values about who you are and confuse your goals.
 

When you're constantly living for outside validation, you'll stop when the applause stops. 

You'll stop as soon as you get no views on your work or you receive a hate comment from someone. 
 
So how can we ensure this does not happen?

Step one: Create Values

Have solid personal values. Yes just like your business or brand has values to follow, you too can have values to follow in your day to day life. These are not given to you - you choose these. You can change and evolve them as you grow.  

Mine for the new year are: Honesty, Creativity, Kindness, Courage.
 
So the next time anyone tells you something about you, ask yourself, does it hit something you value? Yes, then absorb it. If it doesn't, say thank you or ignore it. 
 
Have a purpose. Have something deeply rooted in you that people can't take from you.
 
Step two: Validate Yourself

Grow confidence and validate yourself through hitting goals, self-care and discipline. 
 
The greatest form of self-care is doing the thing for your future self that you said you're going to do. Small things like washing the dishes before bed or big things like starting a social media channel. 
 
For me, I feel my most confident when I've followed my daily plan. When I'm eating well, moving my body, hitting my goals (personal and business) and following my routine - absolutely nothing can shake me. 
 
This consistency is what builds confidence. Not the results. Not the recognition. 
 
That's literally it. Just two steps. 

Next time you're looking for validation, find it from yourself and your own chosen values. 
 
Then when the seats are empty you'll keep going. 
Even when they are booing you, you'll keep going. 
 
Applause can be nice and boos can feel bad.
But give them the same weight in effect on your goals and your values.
 
Don't let people's opinions, good or bad, change what you want or who you are.
 
Love,
Penelope